Monday, February 1, 2016

Batman v. Ironman: Dawn of Debates


Batman v. Ironman

One of the questions that I receive most is, "Who would win in a fight, Batman or Ironman?" It makes sense, they are both rich guys who have taken drastically different approaches at pursuing a life of fighting crime. This post is bound to be met with much debate and argument, but here's the thing, it's just my opinion. My opinion that is also based on hard facts. So this is how this will go, I'm going to first analyse the two, and then speculate how a fight between them would go and who would actually win. Bear in mind that comic book characters have many re-imaginings and versions to their character. So to keep this less confusing these heroes will be in their prime iteration. Also, we will stage these fights as if these two have never met each other before and they will fight accordingly, (Meaning Batman would aim to incapacitate, Ironman would go for the kill). With that said, lets get started.

Batman:

Background: Batman has traveled the world for twenty years mastering the art of man-hunting, deductive reasoning, martial arts, expert driving, archery, and a stack of others. In the DC Universe he is "The Worlds Greatest Detective" and loosely speaking he is the second best at everything else, (He is also one of the smartest, second only to Lex Luthor). He has reached peak human perfection, (without the use of a super soldier serum), he prepares for every eventuality and holds a seat on the Justice League, essentially an organization of gods.


Arsenal: Batman has personally engineered a suit capable of advanced stealth and combat functionality, a utility belt equipped with a Kryptonite Ring, a grappling gun, standard issue batarangs, propulsion grenades, (pretty much a grenade with a rocket that will propel you), a high frequency sonic emitter, explosive plastique gel, and whatever else the plot needs him to have. Not only that but he has built a suit capable of withstanding a fight with Superman, (left), and a suit capable of taking on the Justice League, (right). He has a plane, a car, a boat, and a tank, (like a really big tank). His cape allows him to glide through the air. His cowl has infrared detectors and night vision. He has smoke bombs, and all sorts of nonlethal guns that fire rubber bullets. Not only that but he engineered and built all of this for himself.



Hindrances: Bruce Wayne doesn't have many. Though nobody is without fault. He is only human, and his parents are a particular weak point, as is anybody who he has let close to him. Some may say that this isn't a bad thing but he is too driven and is too stubborn to even let anybody help him. Since he is only human, simply shooting him in that mouth gap is a big weakness, also tan lines.



Ironman:

Background: Tony Stark was captured and held in a cave where he was forced to built a metal suit in order to escape. Through this he stopped manufacturing arms for the country and started ending the conflicts around the world based upon engineering a suit that is literally a flying tank that can also punch you in the face. He is also the fifth smartest person in the Marvel Universe, which is still pretty cool considering the next four are overpowered geniuses.


Arsenal: Tony's arsenal is limited only to what he can outfit his suit with. He has multiple suits but in a battle like this he is most likely wearing whatever is standard issue, (same with Batman). His armor typically has a chest and hand repulsion, hand lasers that have been known to just cut anything in half, shoulder guns and rocket boots. He is also sometimes equipped with and EMP blast and often has missiles he can fire from his shoulders or back. He's a walking armory and he is very mobile and one punch would certainly send a man to the hospital or to the grave. 


Hindrances: As I said, no man is perfect, especially not Tony. He is a self proclaimed narcissist, an alcoholic and tends to just forget about people he even kind of likes. (Minus Jarvis and Pepper). He is kind of a daredevil and a hothead, but it's not necessarily a bad thing if he knew how to use it in combat and when the risk is not fatal.


Who Would Win?

Lets say we start these two off in an open field. They have never met each other. Batman has his usual suit, Tony has his usual suit. They perceive that one another is a threat, and they fight it out. Right off the bat I think that Tony would lift his face mask, smirk and say, "This guy is dressed like a bat? He's dressed like a bat!" then Batman would test the waters, throw a batarang right at his face. I suppose Tony would close his face mask and the batarang might perhaps shatter or bounce away letting Batman know right away how strong this suit actually is.

 Ironman flies into the air right at Batman, going straight for a punch. Batman dodges out of the way, quick and nimble as he is, Tony turns right around for a followup punch, in which Batman triggers an EMP which, (if Tony has built his suit correctly), shouldn't work against the Ironman suit. Tony laughs it off and goes for another punch, or perhaps a laser blast from his hands, Batman leaps out of the way, maybe it singes his cape.



 Tony goes for another flyby, and Batman places a propulsion grenade on Ironman's back without him knowing. The Propulsion grenade sends Tony straight into the ground, Batman dashes over and starts trying to tear away at the suit, any piece he can leverage off, he probably doesn't get very far. Ironman shakes Batman right off. Batman pulls out his high frequency sonic emitter and fries Ironman's ears, who goes down to the ground. Batman, learning from his mistakes, tethers him to the ground with the grappling gun, as Ironman tries to fly away he goes straight into the ground again. 

Batman calls in his Batplane, which bears down heavily on Ironman, (bear in mind that the Batplane can incapacitate heavy artillery vehicles). Ironman probably activates the many missiles he has in his suit to shoot the batplane down, crashing it into the field, then he probably cuts the cable. But while he was doing this, Batman places plastique on the boots of Ironman, blowing it while he's midair disabling his rocket boots and bringing him to the ground permanently. 

At this point Batman has probably pinpointed just exactly what powers the suit, that being the arc reactor in Tony's chest. Tony is enraged at this point, a seeming psychopath dressed as a bat just grounded him, he's not going to show off anymore. Repulsors and punches will with the day for Ironman, if only he could hit Batman who quickly works his way straight up to Ironman. Ironman starts to punch, Batman redirecting the hits and using Ironman's momentum against him flipping him about onto the ground. Batman reaches towards the reactor, punching the casing and twisting the reactor disabling the connection to the suit, then tears the chest plate off and replaces the arc reaction into Tony's chest, keeping him alive. Tony is now pinned to the ground in an Ironman suit without power. 



Lets say Ironman has safety precautions in case this were to happen and the suit uses backup power to launch Batman off of him and breaks off in pieces as Tony stands up in nothing but his under armor or suit or whatever he wears under the Ironman suit. Remember, Tony is just a guy, he doesn't really have any combat training, and at this point he is just another thug to Batman who proceeds to just beat the crap out of him. 

For the sake of drawing this out even longer, lets say that Tony call's in the Hulkbuster suit as seen in Age of Ultron and a bunch of other comics. Jarvis has it shipped to Tony immediatly, but it still takes a little bit and Tony is running around the field throwing whatever he has left at Batman, (which isn't a lot). The suit finally arrives.The Hulkbuster suit is equipped with adamantium tipped suppression needles and rocket propelled fists. It can also get punched really hard. Tony is now in a giant mech suit and Batman is left standing beneath this towering hunk of metal. One punch would kill Batman. To escelate this further lets say Batman call in the Batcopter carrying his Justice League defense suit (used to defend against the Justice League). While that's taking it's time to get to Batman he nimbly dodges away from Ironman, perhaps hopping on the back of the Hulkbuster suit and trying to tear out whatever wires or plating there could be, (probably in the neck region of the suit). Maybe he does some damage, but that Ironman suit is tough. 

Finally Batman's mech armor arrives, equipped with blades, ice slick, rocket propelled fists with miniature red dwarf suns in the knuckles (courtesy of Dr. Ray Palmer), Powdered magnesium carbonate foam, guns, and rocket boots. By now they are both sick of each other and they go all out throwing punches, needles, guns, rockets. But regardless I think the red sun's in the fists of Batman take out this armor exoskeleton fairly quickly. Tony is then left with just a regular Ironman suit. Batman just quickly takes that one out too, maybe they fly around for a bit before that. 



Lastly, for sake of Tony, he keeps calling in one suit after the other while slowly being tired out as the fight drags on. In the end of it all I think it just comes down to whether Batman can defend against all of Tony's suits longer than Tony can stay standing after all of the fighting. I'll let you decide that, (with the evidence presented).

Conclusion:
But really, these debates will never end. . At the end of the day it just depends on who is writing the comic book, who knows more about each character and who inevitably wants them to win. I tried to be as unbiased as possible, but as I said, there are a million people who will probably disagree, and that's fine I guess. 

In my opinion. Batman wins. It just really comes down to how well prepared Batman is for every eventuality in a fight. He has fought "ironmen" before, he has fought even the likes of Superman before. Batman has reached the peak of humanity and has trained to be the second best at everything, even metal suit making. Ironman is a formidable foe when in the suit, but when out of it there is no competition. To really understand this fight one must get to the core of each character. Strip them of their suits, their toys, their money, and their tech and Bruce win's simply because Bruce's ideals are purer, he has shown undying loyalty to his friends, (the few friends that he has), and will never give up on a fight, even if the outcome is fatal for him. Plus he's a ninja with or without the suit.

If anything, this whole debate shows that money is the best superpower.






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